Hello. It’s me.
This Mercury Retrograde has been..annoying, to say the least. But now things should get back on track, hopefully. I’m still working on the next book, which has now been in the works for a while now.
There’s also some major changes coming to both the Blog and Patreon.
I’ve also gotten very busy lately in life, especially my non-occult pursuits. Recently, my magick has evolved in big way. The knowledge that I have sought after for a long time, is finally being revealed to me, and I’m being asked to share it. I’m trying of course, but it isn’t always clear how this stuff should be made public.
I’ve always strived to make the contents of this blog as clear and accessible as possible. But in the pursuit of that simplicity, I’ve somehow managed to make everything complicated.
It’s polarity. What is simple takes more effort to understand. What is complicated is easier to understand.
For example, imagine a complex math equation. Such an equation can be written in just one line, but it represents years of study and work. To the average person, it looks like gibberish, but to a mathematician, who understands the symbols and theorems behind it, everything is very clear.
On the other hand, we could show the entire proof of the equation. We could fill an entire page with formulae, showing how we arrived at the equation. This makes the task of reading it a lot harder, but now any person who knows basic arithmetic can follow along. But, this means true mathematicians must sit through a lot more tedium just to get to the point.
So who should I write for?
I think there’s enough material out there for absolute beginners of magick, and often such material doesn’t go deeper. It doesn’t need to. So why cover trodden ground?
What’s the point going over pages upon pages of theory and tables and correspondences? What’s the point explaining, for the 1000th time, how to make a sigil or charge a candle? Why would anyone need to read an article on Between the Pillars for something like that, where there’s already hundreds of five minute youtube videos explaining it?
You see, I was afraid. I didn’t want to be the crazy guy, standing in the city square, ringing a bell shouting “it’s a lie, it’s a lie! History is a lie, culture is a lie, religion is a lie. They’re lying to you! They’ve been lying to you for twenty five centuries!!”
But now I think: why do I need to go to the city square? There are enough people to do that. I could also be the crazy guy living in a hut in the forest, saying the same thing but only attracting the attention of those who would care to listen.
I’m a bit of an elitist, which probably comes as no surprise to anyone. This knowledge isn’t for everyone, and I won’t pretend that it is. I want to share what I’ve learned with others who are on the same page, with those who understand, because that’s how our community grows and evolves, and how new ideas are generated. The longer we pretend to involve everyone, the longer we delay.
And if it scares or upsets people, so be it. Fear is all they’ll ever know. No more hiding.
This is a blog. A blog is like a journey. My journey. Today, I’m going to share an experience I had recently with the Archangel Samael.
Revisiting Samael
My invocation of the Archangel Samael was the very first post I ever made to this blog. Over time, I have made various edits and cleanups, and a few years back I went and updated all the older posts on the blog, including that one. The updates were mostly addendums about how my opinions about certain things had changed, or how my understanding had developed or evolved. At times, entire concepts from older posts had become obsolete. Instead of just getting rid of them, I simply included an update regarding them. This way, people can read the original material along with my evolving opinions.
Most occultists change their opinions and beliefs extensively throughout their lives. Dogma is really bad for magick, and if you read the works of any prominent occult or esoteric writers, you will see they rarely ever ‘double down’ on things they previously believed. That doesn’t mean what was believed before is ‘wrong’, merely that it has served some purpose and now is no longer needed. That’s how spiritual evolution works.
The Archangel Samael is a very, very important and prominent part of my magickal journey. Despite this, I haven’t written much about him, and that’s largely because there was a massive gap between my early days of spiritual dabbling, and eventual initiation into the Golden Dawn system, where I rarely invoked him in any major way. Yes, there were times when I called him, but it was never something to write a whole blog post about.
The experience I’m going to write about today is a recent experience that’s actually worth sharing.
Not a ‘ritual’ exactly. More like a meditative trance I was guided in the middle of the night. I was half asleep, which is apparently a great time for spiritual work and to receive messages. According to Samael, conscious resistance is very low, and information can be downloaded easily.
As I recently explained on my Patron, spirit communication does not happen in words. Rather, it takes place in the form of impressions, which the conscious mind then unpacks and translates into language. When a trance is deep, the impressions are all that come, and barely become words. That was the case here. So all the messages I write are actually paraphrased, rather than straight dictates.
At it’s purest and highest forms, such communication is even more sublime. Rather than impressions, a whole concept or set of information gets instantly understood and internalised. This is called Gnosis, or ‘knowing’.
The Dark Meditation
I did not plan this meditation. But that’s just how synchronicity works. I was going to sleep at midnight, but ended up staying awake till 2am.
It was dark and cold, and suddenly I started to feel like…well, like not sleeping. Instead, the thought of calling on Archangel Samael and meditating came to me. And when I say ‘came to me’, that’s how messages from the Higher Self come. You simply know that a certain thing needs to be done at a certain point.
I was guided to turn off the lights, get some water and sit on my bed to meditate. I was about to draw the curtains, but a sharp resistance stopped me. This ritual was to be done in total darkness.
I was also guided to put on my headphones and use some ambient music for the meditation. At first, I tried some generic choir music. But then I was urged to specifically find thunder, lighting and rain, because those are apt for calling Samael. At this point he was already around, by the way. The ‘calling’ is more a formality to match our wavelengths. So I was about to start, and then it struck me: what mantra or enn to use? I had nothing prepared after all!
Samael told me to go online on my phone, and look for an enn. So I did, and found many, many different people, all with different enns that they claimed was the ‘correct’ version. Then Samael spoke:
“You see how many mantras there are? And they all will work! There is no ‘correct’ mantra, and there never was..”
I was then informed that essentially ALL mantras, enns and hymns, in all religions and spiritual traditions, were essentially barbarous speech. That is to say, one must think of a deity, focus on its energy, and then simply start chanting. The words come naturally, but have no logical meaning.
Apparently, this is how the ancient sages channeled hymns and such, and why most spiritual traditions were oral (for example, the Vedas). But then these utterings were noted down, memorised and repeated. And thus the original effect and power was lost or diluted.
Therefore, I simply began to channel a hymn to Samael. You’ll remember that when I first invoked him, I’d ALSO channeled a hymn. But this time, it was not English words. It was simply incantations meant to push deeper into trance. He also clarified that barbarous speech and words of power are not the same thing. Words of Power DO need to be spoken exactly as intended, and there the sound produced itself has power. It should also be noted that devotional songs, as well as subconscious affirmations neither barbarous speech nor words of power, but two separate things entirely.
Anyway, as I invoked, the darkness around me got thicker, and my heartrate went up. The trance got stronger and stronger, and I fell fully immersed in the ambient thunder and rain. I saw visions of the sky opening, and a mighty angel with many wings descending. It was all in black and white, and completely silent. Absolute silence is a very common aspect of Samael.
Now, here’s how I was directed to do the meditation. It followed a very normal pattern of energising the chakras and aura. Normally, I visualise light entering my chakras, moving down the central channel, and finally radiating out to my aura, energising me. This I do often, and Samael directed me to do something similar, but with darkness instead.
At first, my immediate reaction was to stop it, because I normally visualize impurity and profane energy as darkness. Like for example, when I am taking a ritual bath, I will visualise my body covered in a black ink, and it gets washed away. My subconscious understands black energy as negativity. But then Samael informed me:
“Darkness is not negative. That’s just how you choose to perceive impurity. If you want, you could visualise impurity in any other way, so why choose darkness? Darkness is also the colour of emptiness. Darkness is the colour of the inner void, that empty place where the inner light dwells!”
He then recited the famous Golden Dawn motto I hold very dearly to myself: “The light shineth in the darkness, but the darkness comprehendeth it not..”. I believe it is a Biblical saying.
Interestingly, I had once called on Samuel Lidell Mathers (the founder of the Golden Dawn who had chosen this phrase in the first place), and indeed he had come. When I questioned him regarding this axiom, he actually gave me a second part of it: “and the darkness hideth in the Light, but the Light seeketh it not.”
In case you didn’t know, the Golden Dawn adepts count, to a certain degree, as ascended masters. It’s easier to call them when you also belong to the tradition.
Samael then explained that he was the spirit of the inner void. He was the emissary of the inner womb, the darkness from which the light shines. He explained that one must look deeper into the darkness, to perceive the light. He explained that this could be a scary and radical act for many magicians. However, since I had already faced many of my fears and overcome many of my complexes, it would be relatively easy for me.
“You have already suffered. You are already emptied, and prepared to receive the Light”
And then I began the visualisation without fear. “Fear is failure, and the forerunner to failure” as the GD axiom goes.
First, I visualised a deep, absolute darkness fill my Crown chakra. Then it travelled down, to my Third eye, and so on, down the channel. Normally I visualise white planetary symbols on my chakras as they fill with light, but now I visualised black symbols of the planets instead. The darkness travelled down, all the way to my Root chakra. Then it coursed through my body, and radiated out to fill my aura.
The light is cold, but the darkness feels warm. I felt empty, barely conscious, and without resistance, fear or doubt. At that moment, everything fell still and silent.
Then it began: some sort of transformation, along with a whole host of messages. I will do my best to recall.
The Messages from Darkness
The Archangel Samael told me the root of his name. As you know, the name Samael is often translated as the ‘poison of god’.
“Indeed, darkness is the blinding venom of God. For the foolish, it can be terrifying. But the wise can navigate it without fear”
He then drew my attention to the secret syllable ‘Sham‘, which is a root word in Hindu tantra, and used for a specific purpose in Kundalini yoga. He told me that this is the real root of his name, and is a word of power. It is also where the term ‘Ha Shem’ comes from, which denotes the 72 fold name of God in Judaism. It is the root of the Persian word ‘Shyam’, meaning evening, and also the root word for Shamash, the Babylonian term for the Sun.
Thus, the Archangel Samael (Sham-ah-il) is associated with the Kundalini. The Kundalini is a feminine, draconic force that rests in all individuals. There’s little more I can say regarding that.
At this point, my back began to hurt. This is quite a common thing that happens when meditating, especially if one does not have a proper seat or cushion. Normally, the key is to simply ignore it and get through it. Samael explained why this is
“The minor pains and annoyances are meant to keep the unworthy away from this knowledge. This knowledge is meant only for those who are prepared. This is the first threshold to cross, and very few shall ever cross it. You must resist the urge to stop.”
So I continued despite the minor aching in my lower back and knees. As I know from experience, it goes away in a little while.
I got further messages.
“People fear the darkness because it reflects their fears. It forces them to turn within and acknowledge the emptiness they harbour”
I saw ghosts. I saw phantoms. I saw serpents. A ghost came up, and was inches from my face.
“But he who has recognised that the dakrness comes from within has nothing to fear. No force can harm him, because he recognises that all is within. A mere reflection!”
I saw the creatures melt into puddles of darkness, and then merge into a massive shadow which was emanating from my own body.
“People focus only on the light, and neglect the darkness. This halts the process of ascension. Everyday, you meditate on the light. From now on, meditate once on the darkness and once on the light each day.”
I came to realise that I was totally immersed in Boas, Pillar of Severity. I could see orange flames inside me, and a flaming orange Swastika in my crown chakra. I also saw a white, glowing symbol on my root chakra, shaped like a wheel. They looked..organic.
“True symbols of power are revealed in visions, but people are unable to copy them. So they become simplified, distorted and eventually lost”
I then realised that this weird wheel like thing, which almost looked like an iris drawn in chalk, was the actual symbol of Spirit. It dawned on me that this was the original inspiration behind the more well known symbol:
It looked a lot more organic and ‘real’, and it dawned on me that all magickal symbols were simply an approximation of the real thing, almost like a motif. The real symbols were too complex to remember and replicate, so simplified symbols were made instead, to act as anchors for those forces. It was like comparing a real object, to a simplified picture of it.
I saw the Tarot card of Death, and I realised that Samael was the very embodiment of it. He brought death, upheaval and rebirth. To many, Death represents the absolute end of things. But to magicians, it is in fact an important threshold to cross in order to truly awaken.
I was then told that I was at the second threshold of the meditation: boredom and emptiness. I was told that now a strong desire to end the meditation would come, believing that all the work was done. Instead, I should continue. I was led to bend my back downwards, while still sitting, so that my head was touching the ground.
“This posture causes blood to rush to the head, activating the spiritual senses and pineal gland”
I then realised that both Hindus and Muslims do this. We place our head on the ground during or at the end of prayer, but it is normally a sign of prostration and submission.
“A misunderstood gesture. The true purpose of this gesture was to bring blood to the head, and bring alertness, activating the psychic senses.”
As I sat there, head down, I was told to cover my eyes and “focus on the void”.
Then I sat up again, and now I could feel an immense power rising up inside me. A chill passed through me, and I was covered in goosebumps. And then the energy and adrenaline exploded inside me, spreading out my heads in rapid, spontaneous movements. I was reminded of traditional dance. I realised that religious and traditional dances were originally a way to channel and direct energy this way, and modern dynamic dance forms still do this. The products of culture: dance, language, song and art, were never meant to be repetitive, reproduced or dogmatically adhered to. All of it was meant to be natural expressions of the energy that builds up inside.
And then I was done. I was a bit tired so I fell back on my bed. The Archangel Samael commended me on making it through that. I asked “So, are we done”
“We are never done. This was the first part of the meditation. You can rest and continue later”
But I asked why I couldn’t just do it then and there. I wanted to see how far I could go. So I told Samael “take me as far as you can”
“How far I can take you: no person can go”
“Then take me as far as I can go”
Then I sat up, after a bit of rest, and began meditating once again.
The Light Meditation
The second time was a more standard meditation. I visualised a beam of radiant light, as often. But it was so much more powerful than I have ever felt. Once again, I visualised white light coming into my Crown Chakra, then down the channel to the Root, fill my body and radiate into my aura. The Light was bright, cool and full of life.
It was not Samael now, but another figure. I could see a vibrant purple. As weird as this may sound, the energy felt almost ‘biblical’.
It was the Archangel Metatron, as I would later realise. And he told me a variety of things. By then I was so deep in trance that I could not comprehend most of it, but I must have downloaded all the messages subconsciously.
He told me that the ancient prophets, magi and sages underwent similar meditation.
“When the sages of the past, emerged from their meditations and went into the world, they faced ridicule and mockery, and they were attacked and challenged. But they were not affected, for they understood that all they saw and encountered, was an expression of themselves. And so, they laughed in the face of adversity and mockery, and no harm could come to them”
I was also told:
“Spirit is immortal and everlasting, and it has no need to fear. It cannot be touched or harmed, and nothing can exist, which is not part of it. Therefore, have no fear before anyone, for you can accomplish anything.”
The visions came further. I saw old men and women, from all over the world. They were from many different times and of many different races, in many different garbs. They were invoking the mysteries, and they had ascended and seen the inner light.
“You have no idea how powerful you are. This power should not be ridiculed, nor underestimated. Never profane that which is sacred”
I saw purple spirals, like rolling wings, before my eyes. It was all lighted up, like someone shining a torch in my eyes. Now, this is pretty standard for meditation, and has happened before. But it was somehow more powerful, more grounded.
Often, meditation makes me feel light and disconnected. But now I felt immersed in the world, in reality itself.
I saw the dark and the light body next to each other. And then, they merged, and overlapped, and became one. The chakras were neither light nor dark. Instead, they were like black balls of crystal with a powerful light shining inside them, making them glow.
“The light shineth in the darkness, and the darkness comprehendeth it not. The darkness hideth in the light, and the light seekest it not.”
I was witnessing Spirit shine within Matter. The union of the Male and the Female.
Damn.
I was told that this was, and always has been known to the great Masters. But it is generally not spoken of, and kept hidden. It was only taught to students who were ready.
But secrecy had caused the knowledge to be distorted, and misunderstood by the masses. It had created the false dichotomy of Spirit and Matter, and matter, the feminine, was suppressed. Spirit, which was masculine, having lost its connection to Matter, appeared tyrannical and harsh, like a wrathful God punishing his subjects.
Conclusions
Am I telling you to try this meditation?
Absolutely.
But, it may be different for you. Essentially, the Archangel Samael told me that every type of meditation has two forms: a light form, and a dark form. Both should be done. Over time, both shall happen simultaneously.
For example, when you meditate on the chakras, and fill them with white light, you should also do one for darkness. Every meditation of light has a counterpart, which is the same meditation with darkness.
As I’m sure you know, the work of magick produces obstacles. When we, for example, start invoking the light, it forces our life to become purified. We may be forced to shine a light on those parts of ourselves which we are ignoring, to let go of toxic beliefs and ideas, and so forth. Invoking the darkness is similar, and can only happen when a person has internalised the light.
Otherwise, instead of power, you shall find repressed memories, fears, complexes, and all sorts of other hidden aspects of oneself. The darkness will become scary, and terrifying.
I’ve done the darkness meditation several times now, and at one time I was faced with waves and waves of terror, and I became paralyzed with fear. Then I faced it once again, but this time I was not afraid. It’s hard to put in words. But, I was told that this is a test. Each time I maintain my calm, and face the terror, I grow stronger. It subsides, and dissolves like a mirage.
Reminds me of that scene from the new Dune film (which I have already watched three times because I love it), where Lady Jessica is reciting a prayer against fear.
This is not a practice for beginners, because it will test you. But those who have already internalized the light, who have already faced their fears and and redeemed their inner self, this may be a vital practice. This may be why so many of us, who have fully internalized the light, begin to feel weak, ungrounded or unable to face the darkness of the ‘real’ world. It’s because this crucial part of the puzzle was kept hidden.
An Angel once literally told me “The ancient magi, fearing that the key would fall into the wrong hands, broke it into two, and scattered the pieces in different directions”.
This is the other part of the puzzle. The darkness, or Matter, is a receptacle for the light of Spirit, and must be invoked by a balanced adept. It will give much needed strength and a feel of connection to the world around.
This is real. This is really how it is. So do with it what you will. I will see you soon.
~Peace and Farewell
White Raven Invictus
Between The Pillars 